Running Water.

Does it ever feel like the thing you want most just keeps slipping through your fingers. or am i the only one this happens to? you close every gap between your fingers and the make-shift bowl you have formed begins to fill, but somehow, the water always finds a way to escape. the smallest gap and it's gone. no matter how many times i try to grasp this, it ALWAYS escapes me. so close but so far, and so far, no cigar. time and time again i have tried to accomplish this task, expressing openly that i want this whole-heartedly. sacrificing one thing or another in order to obtain it. but something always goes wrong. it's like i have fallen in love and lost. but not with a girl. with an intangible thing. a dream. it makes me happy. i feel excited when i talk about it and i feel good while i'm working on it. but then something happens and it falls apart. then it hurts deep in my gut and it scares me. like things i have done have been in vain. like it will never work out. the people that surround me reassure me that it will be okay, that it will work out but it has happened time and time again. i can't stand it. and sometimes i doubt it.

"why does this happen to me? why does every moment have to be so hard? it's hard to believe that it's not over tonight, but just give me one more chance to make it right. " - Maroon 5

so, i guess... it's not over tonight ladies and gentlemen. here we go. one more attempt, one more chance to make it right and i'm gonna give it all i've got. this is it. this is not a rehearsal.

but good God, am i scared.